Our Story

Once upon a time, there was a smokin' hot girl who despite being incredibly young and vibrant decided she wanted to buy a house in the suburbs. She impulsively moved to the DMV (that means DC metro area, can you believe that? DC, Maryland, Virginia. But also one of the worst government-run establishments known to mankind so very confusing) and lived in Maryland. She told her realtor she wanted to live somewhere a single woman could feel safe walking her dog - he said "Girl that's Virginia." And so, without ever spending any significant bit of time in Virginia - she moved.

Meanwhile - in Virginia - there was a handyman. He grew up in this neighborhood with his 6 siblings and countless pets. In 2023, he was busy starting a business and buying an obscene amount of tools. He was the neighborhood sweetheart and everyone loved the work he did on their 1940's duplexes. (I wrote other interesting facts about him but they got vetoed.)

One night, the woman was taking a shower and her shower curtain did what all shower curtains do - stuck so tightly to her body that she felt she was in a straight jacket and low key that one scene in Psycho (or Fatal Attraction. Now that I think about it there are a lot of movies in which a woman dies a violent death in a shower. We should unpack that as a society). She decided she wanted to replace her dusty, musty, and crusty shower curtain with a shower door. But there was one problem - those doors are literally so expensive and she had just bought a house. Luckily her brain is super powerful so she just manifested a free one and literally less than a week later someone posted in her neighborhood Buy Nothing group that they were giving away a free shower door. (I am serious. This really happened).

It was awesome. Her shower was 59" and the door was 60". All of the hardware was included. What could go wrong? Well, she muscled the door into her house and discovered it was actually missing a fair amount of hardware and it was actually only 57". So kind of a bummer. But she was determined.

So it sat in her house for like 3 months. Idk. 

Then one day in July she had had ENOUGH. She remembered, she actually IS rich and she could just hire someone to install the door and deal with all of these little problems. So she did what any white suburban woman would do - she took to Facebook. 

This is how this man and woman met. She hired him as her handyman. 

Then they fell in love and decided to get married. 

And now you are here.

The End.